Rethinking Emotional Intelligence and Cleverness

Why is it we spend so much of our lives running from our weakness and doubts, trying to be that better person without ever really reconciling with who we are and being comfortable with that person.

Stimulating article written by a good friend and Transformative Coach Antti Vanhanen, where he offers us an unusual choice in how we could see and choose to reconcile with the part of us that feels weak and helpless.
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Rethinking Emotional Intelligence and Cleverness

Who doesn’t want to become stronger and more clever?
Almost everyone! But why do we want that? Could it be that it’s mainly because we feel weak and stupid. Where else would the desire come from?

The desire or goal to be strong and clever is the direct result of not wanting to feel weak and stupid. But is getting stronger and more clever what we really want? Is it a goal that we would want no matter, or does it just seem like what would fix the discomfort of feeling weak and stupid?

This is the trap with goals – no one ever questions them.
Most people never once stop to ponder whether their goal is what they truly want or if that goal just serves as a symbol of relief for their suffering.

Take a second to consider how long it takes to achieve a major goal: months, years, or even decades, right? I don’t know about you, but that seems like an absurd amount of time and effort to fix a feeling. Especially when you could fix the feeling right this moment, in a matter of minutes, hours or days.

So How?
Well instead of trying to fix or avoid the feeling, go at it head on.
Don’t try to control it, fix it, analyze it, or cope with it. Just feel it fully. Drop all stories of what it means and where it comes from, and just get really, really familiar with what the energy of being weak and stupid feels like. And then be with that energy as if it is going to last forever.

If that sounds like the dumbest thing you have ever read on the internet, allow me to extend an olive branch:
Staying with that energy does NOT make you more weak and stupid. It won’t impede your progress. It won’t stall your life.
It isn’t about giving up. What staying with the negative feeling does is it stops the endless rat race of trying to fix yourself and to become something else – something better.

When you don’t accept yourself as who you are, your energy will be depleted and weakened, because you are not fully present in the moment. You are trying to escape the discomfort, which means you are emotionally on the run. It’s hard to build anything truly sustainable and useful when you’re constantly on the run from your experience. However, when you meet the energy that is trying to make you escape where it arises and give it your full attention, it will soon dissipate – just like every feeling you have ever felt has. And once it has naturally dissipated, there is no longer a need to run, escape, analyze or fix. You will be centered with your feet firmly planted underneath you.

This is the position of power. From here, there’s nothing you need to do, but there’s nothing you can’t do.

What happens then? Absent of the fear of being weak and stupid, you will be more present. This means you become more aware of any situation, which makes you more clever, not on the basis of a conscious thought or need, but inherently within yourself. It also means that you will be less driven by fear, which makes you more courageous – which is to say emotionally stronger.

So you see, the things you seek are already within you. You just need to stop running to let them shine through and just be present in the amazing person you are!